Lord, I Need You

As we move into a week filled with fundraising and parties, nervousness and anxiety plague my heart.  I pray that we've done our part and I yearn for the faithfulness to trust God to do the rest.  The financial aspect of adoption has been a stressor for me and I have often found myself desperate for a way to make this all make sense on paper.  But you see that's not really what God wants me to learn from this challenge.  I know he's wanting me to sit back and let him "show me his stuff!" and being the human being I am, I often in some capacity send the same message right back to him.  Up until this point we have been able to make each payment that has been due, but by the time our dossier is approved later this summer, we will owe close to another $12,000, most of which I have no earthly idea as to where it will come from.  Just like anything else the Lord places in our life we have two choices as my mom would say, "you're either going to like it or lump it, you decide!"  So I've chosen to "like" it, to see it as a challenge of my faithfulness in my Creator, to sit back and trust that this is in His control, to realize that making myself vulnerable to my community and friends is going to be ok because He goes with me, to remember that this call in our life is so much bigger than anything I can manage myself, and so I'm hour by hour making the choice to trust God for all I need and honestly, it's a really great place to be...