All Dressed Up With No Where To Go...

Greetings to those who continue to check in to see what's up with our family and the status in Ethiopia regarding adoptions.  I'm going to do my best to make a summary of countless hours spent on our part gathering information that's complicated and honestly has no real answers so bear with me...

Some of you may or may not be aware that recently there has been significant increase in the instability of the adoption atmosphere within Ethiopia due to corruption and unethical behavior that runs rampant by people abusing the process for financial gain both within Ethiopia and within countries in which children may be adopted into (including the US).  Just this week 4 individuals from a US agency were federally indicted (you can read more about that here) on charges of child trafficking, this is just an example of the seriousness of the behaviors of people we as "waiting" families are supposed to trust.  As you can image, all of this drama affects our status greatly.  Previously we mentioned that during the 6 months it took us to complete our paperwork our waiting times doubled from 2 years (approximately) to 3.5-4 years.  This week our case worker advised that we would be looking at closer to a 6 year wait, best case scenario, if international adoptions within Ethiopia would even continue to exist.  There is also a large possibility that within this "best case scenario" we would not be able to request an infant referral and would need to be open to an older child or a child with special needs.  In addition, while the entire country has not stopped adoption processes the southern region has, and the northern region is only dismissing children within the older and special need ranges.  All of this information (this is just the tip of the iceberg but I don't want to bore you) is hard to process for us.  Honestly we feel a little lost.  It's hard to understand why our agency is giving us these daunting numbers when I can read about other families (via their blogs) throughout the US who are using a separate agency and getting referrals within our parameters within 6 months of waiting.  Obviously I realize that some of these quick referrals have a bigger story to tell than what I can see and that some of them, more than likely, are being done unethically behind the scenes.  The worst part about this is that it leaves innocent families like our own who stepped out in faith intending to be Christ's hands and feet faced with a story that is lined with greed, corruption, and crime they had no intention to be a part of.  Without a doubt the last thing we as a family want is a child to come into our home that had a "first" family that dearly loves and wants them but it doesn't make the hurt in this mama's heart go away right now.   Our agency has refused to work with any secondary orphanages or systems that have any part of being involved in the corruption and thus the consequences of our recent predicament.

So now what....
This week we were given a list of ultimatums, if you will...

• Continue in AGCI Ethiopia program, understanding timelines are unknown and could continue to expand
• Transfer to another AGCI adoption program
• Participate in a simultaneous AGCI adoption
• Participate in a simultaneous adoption outside of AGCI
• Terminate AGCI adoption journey

After many questions, conversations, tears, and prayers we have concluded that due to different requirements our agency has (such as maintaining birth order in our family, specific country qualifications etc.) we really don't have any options besides continuing to ride this whole thing out and let God take the reigns.  Our concern is that we will keep pouring significant finances into a process that has no end.  We will not have to make many decisions for a good 6-9 months when our first paperwork updates need to be made and we are hoping that by then we might have some better news to work with.  For the most part I am relieved we are this far.  The last 6-8 weeks of trying to get a better understanding about the situation has been physically, emotionally and spiritually draining.  It's times like this I am thankful for a God who hears my prayers even when I'm not able to verbalize them.

Lastly, so we don't give you the wrong impression, we LOVE the people at our agency and are THANKFUL for their honesty with us.  We are thankful they have taken a stand that coincides with one we would take.  While we are heart-broken that Baby J may never come to live in our home, we refuse to allow our Western privilege to dominate over beautiful mamas born into different circumstances half a world away, there will be a better way for us to walk along side of them.  We do not regret the financial commitment we have made, regardless if there is nothing we can physically show you for it.  We have grown and will continue to grow because of this entire process and that is priceless...

Goodness & Light

A Christmas Greeting from our family to yours!  This has been a year full of blessings for us as a family.  I dare to even say it was a year of the extremes!  I think we have experienced immense joy & frustration, worry & relief, anger & excitement, loneliness & the feeling of being surrounded by multitudes of prayer warriors.  As a community of friends, family, and some of you even strangers, you have come along side us through each experience and I am so very grateful, humbled, and honored you are part of our life.  Where ever life may find you during this Christmas season, I pray in return for God's richest blessing for YOU as a new year begins!  He WILL bring us goodness & light....

 A giant "THANK YOU" to Jennifer V. Photography for these beautiful pictures!  She donated her time to us and we LOVE the way they turned out!  She makes it look so easy too!  It was a chilly, windy day but I'm pretty certain I was still sweating!  Pictures with 3 kids = 1 stressed mama!  Thank you Jennifer!!!

Checking in!

It's been a bit since we've checked in here so I thought I would give a little update.  There is not much to report (in some ways that's a good thing!) but lots of you  have been asking so I want to do my best to let you know what's up and what you can be in prayer for.  As of now we are just waiting!  It's something that according to our agency we need to get good at.  Unfortunately for me, I kinda of stink in the patience department.  When we began the process the average wait time was 26 months and by the time we submitted our final paperwork it was about 33 months.  The last email I got said 40-48 months.  I cannot tell you how disheartening being told these numbers is.  I know it's in ours and our adopted child's best interest for things to be done ethically and carefully but my heart breaks knowing there are so many children waiting for a forever home and so many families waiting and wanting on the other side of the process too.  In the adoption world we phrase this as being "stuck" and stuck is a challenging place to be.  It's here where I need to go back to my Creator and trust in his timing.  

There are things that part of me is mourning knowing that our wait time has nearly doubled.  My kids won't be as close in age as I had thought and we will be that much closer to the "over the hill' marker of our life by the time we are all under one roof,sigh.  These things sound kind of silly but when you were born as an American "type-A" that's just how your brain works!  For every negative, there is a positive too (I often feel fortunate that we have the opportunity to pray for Baby J's birth-family for years before our families become one!) and that is the direction we need to look!  

Prayer Requests:

1.  Patience, patience, patience.  

2.  Protection for a special set of birth-parents of which whom only God knows by name.  Prayers for health, warmth, safety and that they may know the truth of God's great big love for them.

3.  For the government processes (both on the Ethiopian and US side) to speed up while maintaining safe ethical adoptions.

4.  For other families who are waiting along with ours.  It's a juggling act to have your heart in two different parts of the world at the same time.

We're Officially a "Waiting" Family!

Hey everyone!  Just wanted to make a quick post to let everyone know that we are officially on the waiting list!!!  Our dossier arrived in Portland on Wednesday and by Thursday afternoon we were given the message that it was "impressive" and needed absolutely no corrections (Our case manager Toni said this is rare and we should be proud.  Being type A has finally gotten us somewhere)!  This is awesome news and we are thrilled! We also received an appointment time for our USCIS-I600A fingerprints and that is going to be this coming Friday.  Clearly everyone's prayers were heard because this was a successful and swift week where things went our way for a change!  At some point over the next week or two we will be scheduling a conference call with our agency to find our more specifics on wait times and different scenarios but for now we rejoice in being able to relax just a bit and not worry about notaries, typos, or postal tracking numbers:-)

I-600A Check!...Dossier-Check!

It's a satisfying feeling to have all of the necessary paperwork that is required of us thus far completed!  Last week we sent off our I-600A off to Texas and this week our dossier is making it's way to Portland.  This is a wonderful thing and a big step forward to being an official waiting family.

• The I-600A is an immigration application we can submit now that our home study is finished and approved.   We  file this application with the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services/Department of Homeland Security and it's purpose is to allow our child permission to enter the U.S. once we come home.   (This will require more fingerprints from Scott and I, again, sigh...hopefully these go better and won't hold us up another 2 months!)
• A dossier is a fancy word for a collection of documents that provide specific information about your family, stuff like proof you have a job, insurance, financial information, criminal checks, reference letters, passport information, pictures etc.

(Ross helped me with the I-600A)

(Daddy and the kids sent out the dossier to Ms. Toni at All God's Children)

When I look back over the last 6 months I can see in detail how much the enemy has been trying to prevent us from submitting these documents.  There has been a battle raging here on Fairway Drive and it hasn't been pleasant.  I knew when we agreed to this process that there would be spiritual warfare involved, I had read about it numerous times from other adoptive families and felt prepared we would be able to handle whatever came our way.  Well, more than I could have imagine came our way, broken appliances, vehicles, lawn mowers, sickness, surgeries, threats of cancer to name a few.  All of this has tried to distract us from God's will, many times we questioned if we were doing the right thing.  Countless nights I pictured us stopping the process because of fear of what may be next, the notion of backing out and putting an end to these trials has been tempting.  But God is so much bigger than any of these battles and when we needed him near, we could always find him.  In the end we have kept our eyes on the goal and we have conquered every last distraction and hurdle that has been thrown at us and IT FEELS GOOD!   We have cried tears of joy, sorrow, anger, confusion, and physical pain.  We have sent out text messages to friends commanding the enemy to leave our home. We have screamed out in rage at a God who we felt was giving us more than we could bear.  We have been brought to our knees in moments of gratitude when our worst fears were taken away.  So much has happened in a short amount of time and at the end of the day the.enemy.has.not.won. Period.  

Psalm 91 has kind of become our family battle cry.  Two special ladies in my life had been coincidentally (or not, God does crazy stuff like this!) praying these verses over our family at the same time and I am so so glad they chose to share that with me.  (you can read the whole passage here>PSALM 91.)

(Psalm 91:14-16 by andrearhowey, via Flickr)

So what's next?

1.  We wait on an appointment to be fingerprinted for the I-600A process.  (Thinking this will have to be done in Sioux City or Sioux Falls).  We have received confirmation they got our application so hopefully an appointment letter will soon come our way.

2.  Once the dossier reaches Portland (hoping for the middle of next week) they will proof it to make sure it meets all the requirements.  (We are praying nothing needs to be redone!)  After approval, we will be placed on the wait list and the dossier will be prepared for authentication by the U.S. Dept. of State as well as the Ethiopian Embassy.  Once authenticated, it will be sent to Ethiopia for translation.  Wow, that's a mouthful!

What can you pray for?

1.  Pray that we have submitted a dossier that will need few if any revisions!  Each time we have to redo something it pushes our time line back and we are anxious to bring Baby J home!  

2.  For the fingerprint appointment to come quickly.

3.  For the enemy to leave us alone!

4.  For Baby J's birth-mom and birth-dad.  We pray for them daily in our home and ask you to join us for protection of their health and well being.  Wherever they sleep tonight, we just ask Jesus to be near.  Our prayer is that one day we may get to meet at least one of them.

What Does LIVING out James 1:27 Look Like?

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.  James 1:27

I like this version...

Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.-James 1:27 

The Message

let's add this to it...

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,

    what God is looking for in men and women.

It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,

    be compassionate and loyal in your love,

And don’t take yourself too seriously—

    take God seriously.-Micah 6:8

 The Message   

Adjusting to life post-Haiti has been different for me this time around.  When I got home I had lots of distractions with health issues I needed to address so my mind didn't have much time to think about what I had just spent a week experiencing.  Now that things have settled down (Thank you Lord!!) and I've had some time to reflect, I'm ready to go back, like now.  Life in Haiti is H.A.R.D but so awesome all at the same time.  One of the things I struggle with is how do we help these people?  How do we help without hurting?  How do I make myself an advocate for them without being preachy?  At what point will people who say they are "Christian" start realizing that caring for people in need is one of the most God glorifying things we can do? (not just in Haiti, at home too and I mean CARING for people, not justifying excuses and reasons to do it "next time")  I've been told several times (OK more than several) that "I could never go to Haiti,"  "I wouldn't last a day,"  "I'm not sure I could handle it," "I think I would die!" you get the point.  To that I would agree and say that YES! we are not all cut out to go spend a week in the mountains of Haiti showering out of a peanut butter jar eating rice and beans but we ALL are called to do something, somewhere for those in circumstances less than our own.  So, what does that look like?  Have you even thought to ask God where he's calling you to help?  One of the hardest decisions Scott and I have had to make is to actually say "yes" to committing to adopt.  You see for years we have prayed for God to use us and our family and show us our calling.  So you would think that when he did we would have been ecstatic.   Not.so.much.  When God calls you to where he intends to use you it's not always easy to say yes.  We made our first "real" commitment to adoption kicking, screaming, crying, and begging God to use a different family.  We aren't qualified, "Christian" enough, wealthy enough, or maybe even that great of parents to the kids already in our home!  But, the moment we hit the button on the computer to "submit" our first payment (this took me 3 days to do by the way, it sat open on our desktop staring at me, waiting for a simple click and I could not do it) all that doubt and fear went away.  I knew we had done the right thing even though it was hard, like REALLY hard.  I guess the point of this post and what I'm trying to get across is to think of life outside ourselves and our quiet, clean little neighborhoods.  Remember that the faces you see in pictures and on TV in Haiti and elsewhere are real people, with real needs.  Be bold and ask God to use you in the way he sees fit, dare to do something brave for someone else even if it takes away from your time and financial resources (it will be worth it, I promise).  Sometimes when people ask me about leaving my kids to go to Haiti or surviving a week away from home in less than "awesome" conditions my response is this..."The people I get to meet and spend time with and the kids I get to love on and spoil for a few days never get a break from their circumstance.  Missing my kids for a week isn't easy, but I get to spend time with kids who will never know what having a mom and dad to hold them when they are scared feels like.  I think I can stretch myself for a week...."  I pray we all find a way to stretch ourselves, somehow, someway, for HIS glory.  You see there's no wrong way to do this, it's a win-win situation where no deed is too big or small as long as your focus is centered in Him.  (If you can collect socks and underwear you can serve the Lord!)  My prayer is that you will simply be brave enough to ask to be used, that you would be intentional in your commitment to serve, that you wouldn't read this post and forget the message...think of what we could accomplish if even half of us stepped out BOLDLY in faith, even if it's hard......think of what we could teach our kids about life when we live out the calling of James 1:27 in plain sight......serving and loving others before ourselves......wow!

 (these are the girls we've been praying so hard for since February, they are doing AWESOME!)

Love this girl and loved sharing this experience with her.  

For all you non/anti-Facebookers (Becky...wink!) I would like to say a huge "Thank-You" for all your prayers concerning my last post.  The biopsy came back "benign" and we are so thankful!  The pathologist recommended that the area still be removed so we meet again with the surgeon next week to make a plan but in the meantime we rejoice in answered prayers!

Prayer Warriors Needed

Hello everyone.  Sitting down to share some prayer requests that are needed here in the Saeger house. About a month ago (when we were on vacation in Minnesota actually) my sister noticed a lump on the side of my neck.  We've done a few tests and all of them have directed us toward the need to biopsy the area. The biopsy will be done Monday afternoon in Orange City.  Please pray for an accurate specimen, for the Doctor to have compassion for me-I'm an emotional wreck, please pray that the mass is benign and that the solution would be one that is minimally invasive.  Please pray for there to be no other areas of concern. Please pray for my family as they surround me.  Please pray that God's intention is for me to spend MANY more years enjoying my wonderful husband and kids.  I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of angry with God right now.  Why me?  Why now?  Haven't I been faithful?!?!  I feel lost, confused, abandoned.  Trying to keep things as normal as possible and stay busy but this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life.  Please pray that the next few days will move quickly and that we will feel God's presence and peace.